Collateral Damage

I was born stateside, and somewhere during the 1980s felt an irrespressible urge to get the fuck out. Maybe it was Reagan or 3-Mile island. Or perhaps it was the lure of the more exotic . Maybe it was just the shitty beer before the dawn of the micro-brewery. Two decades then passed between between attendance at a live American sporting event. During the interim, I will confirm that I managed some visits to the terraces at White Hart Lane to watch the Argie Ossie Ardiles and almost-England manager, Glenn ("Crippled People Deserve It") Hoddle. (errr any readers who can shed light on this most mysterious of beliefs along with what Scientologists might be thinking would be greatly appreciated). I would be surprised if I paid more for that than I did for a pullman seat for an arthouse flick at the Chelsea Cinema, albeit for the right to stand,sway and sing communally. My last baseball ticket (for a Phila. Phillies game c.Larry Bowa & Greg Luzinski) couldn't have cost more than $5, while my last "Sixers" tix went for little more than $10, which at the time would have paid for reining in the "afros" for their entire backcourt that were fashionable at the time, so many miles away from the tattooed gangsta look of Iverson and ilk. As for the Flyers, even then these were the dearest at $12.50-a-pop. Bernie Parent was still getting used to his mask, while the novelty [for hockey] at the time was Gerry Cheevers utilitarian facial adornment picture above left, which if I am not mistaken was borrowed by the villain in "Friday The 13th" or "Halloween". I doubt either Cheevers or the Bruins were content with the misappropriation.

I returned to the American Hemisphere in the new millennium to discover that, like my beloved Chateau Malarctic-La Graviere, or over-oaked Kistler, I could barely(*) afford the price of a professional sports ticket (note: I am taking artistic liberty here by exaggerating a wee bit). Even if I could afford it, I reckoned it represented one of the lamest value propositions known to mankind outside that of boat ownership. While Vet stadium is gone, Phils tix are ~$30 for comparable seats (cheap but not nosebleed); 76ers will run $40 for the cheapest and $60 for anything acceptable; while the Flyers are the First Growths of professional sports now into triple digits. One can't even park one's car for the price one used to be able to gain entry. Even the beer today (just as shitty and watery as the old days) surpasses the price of a cheap seat "back then". Yet its hardly more enjoyable - even on a an inflation-adjusted basis, and probably less if you ask curmudgeonly me.

But I wonder: isn't this inflation, and the CEO-like salary deals of players all the stuff of bull-markets? Maybe even one would go so far as to suggest that the business of professional sports is a soon-to-be popped bubble - collateral damage victim of the reversal of the great 25 year bull-market in credit and leverage itself. Since we haven't seen a recession in nearly 18 years, nor a serious one in 25, one would be forgiven for thinking due to the absence of a downturn, whether they [owners, media, etc.] have simply ceased to contemplate it in their cash-flow models, and contract assumptions. Indeed, turning the spotlight onto the economics of professional sports one might wonder aloud if this isn't a grand accident simply waiting to happen?!? Club Bankruptcies are becoming rather commonplace in UK football, and one must wonder whether in the event of severe recession (or worse) clubs would simply walk away from their contracts with players, OR media companies whose mega-deals have funded 9-digit multi-year contracts will default on their obligations with clubs, causing a cascade of knock-ons that would - in a word - deflate salaries, revenues, and so the lure and attraction of professional sport as a business pursuit.

When America really begins to retrench, one must wonder what reordering of priorities we will see. What will the first to go? (a) gasoline for commute (b) kids school lunches (c) $200/night family outing to the ballpark + outrageously expensive and bad beer + indecent parking?? Hmmmm. Yes while there are many than would encourage Junior to bully schoolmates into given him their lunch, on average, we know what is discretionary for most people. We see a growing awareness that something is awry, but the reality, the cold-shower, slap-in-the-face confrontation of limited income, unavailability of credit, meeting non-discretionary expenditure will be a sobering experience for corporate owners like Comcast, and enthusiasts like Mark Cuban alike. And then, Celebrity athletes, like that asshole Dennis Miller, will be reduced to doing gameshows, and flogging fast-food in print and TV. Ooops, sorry, I forgot, they already are....