Tuesday, December 13, 2011

End Run??!?

This is Olympus Corp.'s infamous"4th & Long", Hail Mary attempt at ummm ...  errrr .....well it was so long we are not really sure. But we are sure they didn't want anyone to know about -especially their investors, the Tokyo Stock Exchange, and their nosey Limey boss who the board all greatly regret appointing no matter how much money their camera business is bleeding.  Of course they should have punted, instead of fumbling in their own end-zone, getting hammered and having the whole team ejected simultaneously for personal fouls. It is one straight from Joe Paterno's playbook....

There is also an alternative explanation. It may look like a Japanese attempt to replicate that most famous Joe Namath Superbowl III Strategy, but it might just be a clever way of hiding the schematic design blueprint for their secret device known as the EndothescamScope. This scientific machine will allow forensic accountants to look deep into the bowels of company accounts and help identify Zaitech scar-tissue or more lethal cancerous Tobashi. This was reputed to have been derived from their [withheld] research into Scammograms, reputedly stolen by agents of GS and secretly passed onto MG Global where it underwent clinical trials.  

Whatever it is. It is complicated. And me, who after witnessing the blunt near-neanderthal construction of Lehman's Repo-105 thought accountants were just plane stoopid. This is clearly a work of art. Watch out Damien Hurst!! Nikon and Canon may be dancing all over the corpse of Olympus in the Camera market, but they can't even come close to Olympus's imagination in conjuring the financial equivalent of the most audacious David Copperfield routine.  The Pointy-Lines. The symmetrical boxes. The acronyms (which include some of our favourite banks!!). The Science-Fiction-sounding names. The Shuffling, and the true Genius of the whole thing: The recursiveness!

In case you're confused, don't be. For it all makes perfect sense when you think that their business is: photographs and endoscopes, (and after their latest acquisitions) medical waste disposal. Now, look again at the Diagram above. Isn't that what you see??

1 comment:

alternative investments said...

That diagram looks like one I've seen that tried to outline how the new Obamacare health insurance law would work. I think in both cases one would need a PHD to figure this out:)