"GS will not ask its employees to make mandatory charitable contributions...their good and noble works for mankind in the name of God alone are sufficiently reverent that we believe our employees should be entitled to do as they see fit with their errrr ummm (verbatim hesitation) manna from heaven, without stipulations from management or worse yet, a secular, atheistic state"."There is absolutely no truth to the rumour that Goldman Sachs will create a holding company for bonus-pool and deferred pay purposes, whose shares (like AIGs Starr affiliate) will ultimately be owned by a small Dublin charitable trust whose sole beneficiary is a 10-bed orphanage in Ireland". "We are shocked by the insinuation that GS would do anything contrary to the letter of the law to get a leg-up"."Goldman Sachs will NOT be reorganizing itself into a tax-exempt religious "ministry" (or Temple rather) in order to take advantage of such status to further pursue God's Works" ( and get the Gross-of-tax Roll-Up). Bank-holding company status was quite sufficient thankyouverymuch. "Taxes" said their spokeperson, "in any event, are an important part The Lord's Work, which is why Goldman always engages multitudes of the best Tax Experts internally and pays for the best tax advice externally"."Goldman Sachs is 100% categorically against abortion. We would never countenance aborting bonuses, at any part of the term but especially in late-term accrual, particularly when they've been earned in pursuit of such noble objectives as God's Work."Goldman Sachs is not a religiously-partisan organisation. If anything, we have a great diversity of religions pride ourselves on the diversity of our people. In fact we resemble the Unitarians - our units are the Millions, and the Billions""We have never claimed that our trading success was 'divinely inspired'. This is pure fiction. What we have said is different: Our traders are blessed with good luck (and information) and are annointed". The separation is not just semantic...""I don't know who said it (probably the goyim uptown at JP Morgan), but there is no truth that our blessed chairman and pious CFO were overheard talking derisively about the great, munificent, and most magnanimous people of America, suggesting that "....couldn't tell the difference between kneeling down and bending over..."
Monday, November 09, 2009
Salacious lies!! Goldman Sachs Press officers and executives had quite a day defusing all the fallout from CEO Lloyd Blankfein's so-called "own goal" (shooting himself in the foot for our American readers) by suggesting the $20 billion GS bonus pool is kosher because GS is doing ...ahem...."God's Work".
Some of their 'official' statements are collected below:
Hosanna's and Hallelujah's (for GS employees) all-round.
(Enough quotes! Amen.)