Tuesday, July 03, 2007

New Additions to the Hedgies Lexicon

Some new definitions to add to the hedgies lexicon:

"ABX'ed" - What happens when the basis blows out and the OTC hedge basis some ABX Index behaves opposite to the highly leveraged portfolio of underlying crap that you own resulting in large losses for your investors, the eventual closure of business, and hours of psychotherapy.

"CLO'bbered" - How an erstwhile manager long the bottom tranches will describe his performance to his investors in his quarterly letter.

"Deep-SPX'ed" - Material under-performance and loss of assets as a result of being short the S&P500 index following the swoon in late February.

"REITization" - The epiphany that a portfolio manager has late in Q2 2007 that perhaps he has overstayed his welcome in real estate stocks.

"PE'ed Off" - That shitty (and angry) feeling a Long vs. Manager has waking-up yet again to find that yet another short position in his portfolio has agreed to be taken private at an enormous premium.

"MOTHR F*#ked" - Any stock in the TSE MOTHRs index (YTD -18%!!)

"KIWI'ed Out" or "Pounded" - Any short bet against any carry trade.

and one from Washington, DC

"Libbyrated" - Using the power of the Office of the President to release a convicted felon from doing time.


Macro Man said...

I think you forgot a few:

"Kung pao'ed"- making any (inevitably losing) trade on the basis of price action in Chinese equities

"Hot Cioffi"- Any investor in subprime CDOs before his inventory gets marked to market

"Cold Cioffi"- That same investor after his portfolio gets marked to market

"May the Schwartz Be With You"- The official motto of China's new state investment vehicle

"risk premium" - an archaic concept that one can find discussed in books on financial history

"Cassandra" said...

Bravo, MM! Please feel to add as many as you can conjure.

(Fade in to weathered porch with in Appalachia, rusted washing machine in the un-mown yard, next to a 1967 chevy pick-up on blocks, and mangy mongrel in the its shade) ...Deliverance-style Banjo music starts playing, while Cassandra's sitting in a rockin' chair creakin' away...

"When aahh was boy...(turns side-a-ways and spits 'bacco juice), ahem, wwhen aahhh was boy, ahh learnt 'bout E-ficient frontiers, and some he-brew named Marko-somethin' an' 'bout risk AND reee-ward..." "We'd were ties and starched collars, say "yes ma'am", and "no thank you, ma'am" when we see someone's mamma.

"Yup...'em kids today, they be wantin' everthaang yesterday! An' their fancy Deee-rivatives this and inverse leveraged floata' that...they don know nuthin' 'bout "risk ". 'Em jus buy anythaaaang s'long as they kin borrow aginst it!! They'd repo their grannies if 'em find a coupla bp's in it! Yup.... world t'ain't what it used ta be... no sir."

"When ahh was a boy...."

(Deliverance banjo-twanging music fades out...)

Anonymous said...

HaHaHaHaHaHa!! C, thanks for making my evening.


Macro Man said...

"Caned" - losing money on a long (short) oil position due to a mild (severe) hurricane season

"Shanghaied" - similar to kung pao'ed, it's when one of your positions loses money because some other guy sells dues to price action in Chinese equities

"Whistling DXY"- an activity performed by dollar shorts when Voldemort decides he has some diversifyin' to do

"ARS-wipe" - the person responsible for the systematic understatement of Argentinian inflation to reduce the payouts on ARS-denominated inflation-linked bonds

"Bucketshop.com" - future owner of the NYSE ticker BSC

I could do this all day!

Macro Man said...

C, I hope you don't mind my appropriating the format (I know rappers, for instance, tend to dislike someone else 'using their style.')

But it's a sllloooooooowwwwwww day and it was nice to get the creative juices flowing!