Inflation v. Deflation

Dear Diary:

For the record, on the Inflation vs. Deflation debate, I know that you know that I've personally held the view that since core asset prices began to slide in 2007, that deflation was more likely than inflation. We predicted the demise of commodities (fully requited) and the diminuation in precious metals (partly requited) too, that disinvestment would trump investment implying further destruction of core asset prices. We believed this for the simplistic reason that we believed we'd witnessed "Peak Credit", causing such massive destruction in core asset prices (particularly real estate, and equity) combined with destruction of wealth and bank capital from paper backed by these real estate (and other unsecured and poorly-secured consumer-related) assets was, and would continue to be far greater than any measure of recapitalization or monetary conjuring the authorities could implement or that lawmakers could politically countenance. This was the crux of a debate with Steve Waldmann at Interfluidity last Spring, and has continued on-and-off with the inflation-fearors - most passionately the Austrians - through to the present.

It was, I believe a contrarian view until Q3 08, when the world seemingly en-masse discovered revulsion, risk-aversion, and wholesale fears of deflation - fear not seen since Q3 02. Despite the swinging of the pendulum towards the deflationary outcome, chatter amongst sound money types (of which I AM one though our concept of sound money was collectively one which would have insure we were never in this situation in the first instance) has remained decidedly critical of Bernanke, and the Fed, and all official attempts to ameliorate the collapse of the financial system as we know it, on moral, philosophical and financial grounds, the latter being mostly predicated present or future inflation risks. The derision is shared by many I respect such as Willem Buiter, and Martin Wolfe, not to mention a number of Austrians with whom I correspond off-line.

As much as I agree philosophically, I am more forgiving and sanguine - of both the the authorities modus operandi and at least in the near and medium-term, of the consequences since I believe that with the money markets seized as they were, and after the Lehman lessons, letting any large financial institution liquidate at THIS time, into a disorderly market - i.e. not guaranteeing all deposits, and senior bank debt, and probably most junior albeit with possible haircuts, would entail unmentionable panic, bank runs, and unspeakable systemic dislocation as EVERYONE withdraws deposits and tried to sell bank debt in lieu of government securities, further complicating adjustment, and reinforcing the most pernicious of deflationary forces. Such an outcome in my opinion is wholly untenable, and probably even unnecessary. This doesn't mean I agree with TARP or asymmetrical Treasury initiatives to help friends of Hank , or their methods, but it does mean that I am not nearly as harsh on the Fed for ballooning its sheet, attempting to do what it can in the immediate term, and again, sanguine about it's ultimately inflationary impacts. Of course, I believe the authorities should have contemplated the inevitable arrival at this point in time when when they unleashed these forces, and dismissed the germanic disdain for unbridled credit growth. But the key point is that I've viewed efforts as band-aids and non-inflationary since they are merely triaging the hemorrhaging of asset prices and capital THAT ARE ALREADY OUT THERE - houses already built, capital already expenditured and consumed. As result of this, no one is going to build new housing, time shares or officer buildings, plant & equipment or such. No American consumer is going to be permitted to become more indebted or consume much beyond what he takes in. No financial institution is going to expand their balance sheet when everyone and everything is deleveraging from Peak Credit. And in any event the official sums proposed are too small in relation to that which has been destroyed, and will continue to be destroyed as assumptions about debt service, future growth, consumption and asset prices reverts to long-term means. Moreover, there should be no shock whatsoever that consumption has fallen off a cliff. It is not mysterious, but merely a return to that which the people can afford sans Refi and HELOCs, sans tax-cut, sans expanding credit, sans increasing vendor financing, sans rising asset prices. It seems to me I can recall others than myself who saw the faux-prosperity and faux-recovery from 03-07 for what it was: massively-goosed by non-extrapolatable, non-recurring items that would.. inevitably.. unwind.

But that was then. And this is now, and I still find few of those skeptical financial calvinists I respect articulating a similarly sanguine view, excepting Dr Roubini who seems to favor the bold actions without fearing the inflation that so many others seemingly fear. Recently I came across a post about the ballooning Fed balance sheet in Doc Hamilton's post (tnx NT!), he does a super job of teasing out the costs and benefits of Fed actions, and proposes modification by eliminating the payment of interest on reserve balances. There follows a super exchange in the comments section on the mechanisms of inter-CB swaps, and other exchanges about the inflation-deflation debate. Buried in there were some comments by Dr Perry Mehrlingat Columbia (who Capital Chronicle has pointed out has a CV with esteemed accomplishments of a length approaching Tolstoy's War&Peace), who finally articulated the 1,000,000,000,000-dollar question that has been on the forefront of my mind:

Everything in the post is correct, and very much on the minds of every Fed watcher. The question is, what does it mean? I have what may be a contrarian view.

It seems to me that what we are seeing is simply the balance sheet consequences of the Fed's decision to take the wholesale money market onto its own balance sheet. Banks (and other entities) that used to lend to one another, are now lending and borrowing through the intermediation of the Fed. This is so not just domestically but also internationally (the huge swap line), since foreign banks used to fund dollar asset holdings in the dollar money market.

In this view, inflation seems much less likely. Why not? If the original wholesale money market borrowing and lending was not inflationary, then why should its substitute be inflationary? Indeed, the real question is whether the expansion of the Fed's balance sheet is keeping pace with the contraction of money market credit more generally. If not, then the consequence may be deflationary.

Posted by: Perry Mehrling at December 22, 2008 05:12 AM

So finally, I see what I feel intuitively in words. They look right. And I want to know: If this is NOT right, why not? If inflation is just around the corner, how and in what form will it emerge? Who's balance sheet will expand to create the money sufficient to offset the destruction in already-consumed asset prices and consumption beyond one's means that is, by all accounts, unfinance-able at this and probably future points in time. If there is a plausible alternate reality, please paint it for me here and now, both technically and anecdotally.

Yours truly,

Cassie

P.S. - Diary, you haven't told anyone about my secret fondness for Mr Trichet, have you? He needs a hug I think....

Heaven Sent?!?

With Tim Geithner, who it must be said, I like and respect, having some "issues" of his own at the moment, it might be appropriate for him to pull "a Richardson" and excuse himself to avoid further taint and embarrassment to the incoming administration so that someone, anyone, can take the fiscal helm.

This may very well send the Obama team back to the so-called drawing board to find someone who can pass my Ethics Exam with a "Spitzer-score: or better, and inspire a more positive leadership image in the eyes of the public.

Fortunately, I believe that I have solved the conundrum, or rather it may, indeed have solved itself as only miraculuous events can. For the quite obvious answer, has, quite literally descended upon us from the heavens, to America's financial center in New York. Mr Obama, meet Mr "Sully" who would make a great Treasury Secretary, if he could do for the national 747 Jumbo what perhaps only a skilled pilot such as he can to safely crash-land our vessel...

Ethics Exam

I have often wondered (never having been to business school myself) what happens in the interim between one's MBA ethics classes and the real world execution of fraud, cheating and malfeasance. Does one's conscience (if they ever had one) merely extinguish one day under the incessant pressure of keeping up with the Paul Tudor-Jones', Blankfeins and Fulds or does it die a slow but tortured death under the weight of repeated terms of Miss Porter's fees, and one's wife's Bergdorf Goodman bill?

Fortunately, Psycho-Ethical Testing Associates has been hard at work developing an Ethical Assessment Examination that they believe predicts the relative predisposition to the erosion of one's ethical values, with obvious use by boards and (D&O Underwriters!)in assessing the risk of future malfeasance.

I have been lucky enough to obtain a copy of their beta-examination (tuned for the financial sector) which I re-print for your perusal below.

Ethical Assessment Examination:

Instructions: Please read the questions thoroughly, and circle the letter of your chosen response. And NO CHEATING!!

1. A mortgage broker known to you only as "Big Mo'" offers you a package of loans for your securitisation operations. Your wife is high maintenance, and your kids' Exeter fees are due next week. Select the statement that best identifies your first sentiments

(a) "AIG will insure it for WHAT?!?!"
(b) The spotty kid at S&P says they're AAA.
(c) "How close are we to our budgeted P&L"
(d) "Who did the property valuations, how were they compensated, what percentage of the purchasers actually have jobs, who will these be on-sold to, and what representations will be made?"
(e) "Has anyone aggregated the retrospective underlying values over the past decade?


2. The Head of Investment Banking has asked the Director of Research to ask the Senior Energy Co. Analyst to ask you prepare an upbeat research report on "Blackhole Oil Exploration Ltd.", a company you've discovered is owned by the brother-in-law of the IB Head's sister, and which his wife is an interested party. Which statement best summarizes your sentiments:

(a) "Hellooooo promotion!"
(b) "Will my Porsche be "Fire-engine red" or or Silver like my words?"
(c) "This will make a great short for my brother's Hedge Fund - let me call him now"
(d) "Ummmm, wasn't this the guy who received the Wells Notice from the SEC?
(e) "The Peace Corps in Bangui or Ouagadagu would be a welcome change"


3. For your summer job, you have secured a gig selling ice cream on a three-quarter-mile-long beach. The position is "mobile" meaning you get to set-up whereever you want and you get a share of the profits above the cost of the goods. There are two other ice-cream sellers from other competing companies also permitted to sell on the beach. Where would you choose to locate?

(a) adjacent to the other ice cream sellers in order to collude and fix the highest tenable prices with the minimum amount of walking.
(b) nearest to the hippies to whom you might flog some higher-margin "weed"
(c) nearest to the group of sorority girls sunbathing by the entrance
(d) closest to the crowds to achieve highest volumes
(e) keep moving to stay fit and provide the best service for potential customers


4. You are a wealth manager. You discover that even when you're late putting in buy or sell orders for certain mutual funds, your orders are accepted - even AFTER the cutoff time which is meant to protect existing investors from being predated by new investors taking advantage of market-moving information. What is the best course of action?

(a)Set up a hedge fund to exploit the opportunity until it goes away.
(b) take advantage of the loophole infrequently, but in a big way, so you can profit but at the same time maintain plausible criminal deniability.
(c) trade frequently and in smaller size so as to not attract undue attention, but allow you to profit continuously.
(c) Anonymously inform the SEC to assuage your conscience, while simultaneously doing it from time to time.
(d) Just say No!, but don't be a whistle-blowing sissy.
(e) Call a reporter at the Wall Street Journal with a scoop.


5. You are a small-cap fund manager running a reasonably large-sized fund with a 60-odd stock portfolio. Many names are less-liquid and trading activity definitely impacts the price due their small cap and prodigious front-running by market-makers and micro-structure "arbs". Every month, quarter and year-end, you observe that many of your holdings, being value or contrarian plays, suffer from getting "whacked" and smashed into these critical valuation periods, causing your performance to be elevated during mid-month, but unnecessarily hurt during the times that matter causing your firm to lose bragging rights, and you, to lose performance bonus. Do you:

(a) use your power to buy more and attempt too offset the selling pressure
(b) ramp other stocks you hold to offset the negative performance of the ones being smashed
(c) Leave large "market-on-close" sell orders with several of your brokers and then cancel them 25 minutes before the close.
(d) Join the Pat Byrne Anti-Short-Selling Holders Organization for Long Equity Speculators (acronym =....)
(e) Don't sweat. Be content with being honest and poorer for it.


6. As a retail stock-broker you are paid a percentage of your customers transactions, and trailing commission of varying degrees depending upon what you flog and at what price. Your mother-in-law, who is objectively an unpleasant person, is looking for a conservative large-cap growth fund. You have 25 different funds to choose from. What do you recommend to her?

(a) The Smithfield New Century Growth which has bottom quartile performance over ten years but a 5% load of which you get 2.5 PLUS a 1% trail ad infinitum.
(b) The Fidelity Benchmark-Hugger Fund which has a reasonable trail, AND 50th percentile performance, for which your mother-in-law cannot find additional fault with you for in the future.
(c) A Fairfield-Sentry (Note: her house is fully-paid off and won't need to move in with you)
(d) You offer to manage it yourself (note: equal to 3 or 4% per annum in self-generated commissions)
(e) Vangaurd Windsor no-load 30bp mgmt fee, low expense ratio, but no trail.

(7) You are a senior trade-executor at a large buy-side money-manager. Your trades are often of significant size, and as such have enormous value to anyone apprised of them such as executing brokers who can front-run them or quietly pass the information to other hedge fund clients who pay premium commissions to the broker precisely for such information. Which statement best summarizes how you know your broker is being honest with your orders?

(a) He was a fraternity brother. He would NEVER do that.
(b) He allocated me lots of Hot Issues during the boom-times.
(c) He scored Miley Cyrus tickets for my daughter's birthday party in the Deluxe Box and even arranged pony rides for them IN THE BOX!.
(d) I've got dirt on him like the photos from that time he showed-up with those Russian hookers...
(e) We have our own post-trade analytics that factor-analyze the outcomes.


(8) Imagine you are a Fund-of-Funds manager, and you have the good fortune to get in early on "great" manager who has demonstrated stable returns and who is so amicable and magnanimous that he doesn't even charge management or performance fees despite his libor + 600 record. Even though you originally invested in good faith, you begin to suspect that all may not be as it seems. However, you get a 5% load on every new investment, and seemingly quite "real" management and performance fees of $182,000,000 PER YEAR. Yes, PER YEAR!!, for doing precious little. What is the best course of action for your suspicions?

(a) Never admit to suspecting anything. There is a statute of limitations and they won't be able to take all of it from you.
(b) Act surprised. Make sure you've the BEST lawyer on retainer.
(c) Payout as much as possible to family and friends as payroll for work undertaken. It will be hard to get that back.
(d) Kill the Golden Goose, and insure, at least, you won't go to the Big House.
(e) Seppuku with one of the samurai swords you've been collecting


9. As the Senior Manager of a large and highly profitable debt trading group within a bank, it is November and you discover an error in one of your traders pricing models and the accounting system that tracks it, causing it to overstate profit by a large margin. It is the same model and trader that was responsible for your $12mm bonus last year and the year before, and one you've been a champion of at the firm. With bonus season almost here, do you:

(a) Stay quiet. Take the money. Resign for "personal reasons"; Hire a good lawyer.
(b) Express shock and indignation and blame it on someone else.
(c) Express shock and horror when its discovered and take responsibility.
(d)'fess-up, take the lumps, claim you "lost" the money on the ponies.
(e)'fess-up, take the lumps, give back the money from prior years


10. As a successful hedge fund manager, you made 100% gross last year with leveraged concentrated bets in risky securities. Your family, friends, and alma-mater (whose new building at the business school is named after you) are invested. You collected NINE-DIGIT compensation (through a Cypriot holding company of a Maltese offshore Trust) tax-free. This year however, you were down 65% - not only wiping out all the "gains" but incurring significant losses. You've decided to liquidate the fund since the high-water mark is so far away, there is little motivation to make the journey from CT to NYC and since YOU don't want to be left with the illiquid crap you can't sell after you open the gate. Should you rebate investors the "performance" fees you earned last year, since, philosophically speaking, you didn't really earn them?

(a) No way Jose. My kids, and my kids' kids will forever fly private!
(b) No, last year was LAST year. THIS year. And in any event, it wasn't my fault, it was "a perfect storm".
(c) maybe, ummmmm, dunno really.
(d) Yes, but only to family, friends, and perhaps alma-maters.
(e) Yes. because kharma's a bitch if not properly tended.


11. As the Chief of a Global Insurance concern that you've built with sweat and cunning, you're company is very profitable. But, despite strong feelings to the contrary, you are not God, you cannot control the fact that occasionally "shit happens" that will negatively impact P&L. You've had a good run and your shareholders have come to love your above-average returns. They value stability, even if manufactured. You've had an embarrassingly good year on the heels of several prior outrageously good years. Do you:

(a) call an ART specialist and ask him to help you keep some for a rainy day?
(b) get a subordinate to do it with no audit trail to you, and deny all knowledge if depositioned?
(c) do nothing, and blame "a perfect storm" if the shit hits the fan?
(d) reserve as aggressively as possible within plausible limits of scrutiny?
(e) in the event "shit does happen", take your lumps and try to communicate to shareholders, as diplomatically as possible, that elevated returns come with elevated attendant risks?


12. You are the CFO of a profitable software company. The market has always valued your shares highly due the firm's attractive returns on equity and stellar growth. As a result, the company's shares remain eye-wateringly expensive, though according to bulls "justified" due to growth prospects. All the senior management team (who are your friends too) have large soon-to-vest options in addition to large additional stock option awards pegged to your firm's EPS growth. You foresee small delays in new a product launch that you forecast will cause the company to be light for the quarter causing the shares to torpedo, and for your award grants to be be reduced, and net-worth halved. Which of the following most closely describes the best course of action?

(a) Obviously implement an aggressive stock buyback plan to squeeze the float to make your numbers.
(b) offer aggressive discounts as required to "channel stuff" in order to crystallize awards and give management time to sell stock
(c) hedge by structuring a "collar" on your holdings to lock-in outrageously valued paper wealth bypassing SEC filing requirements
(d) To be safe do A, B & C, then phone a friend (from a payphone) at a hedge fund in which you are invested.
(e) Do nothing and update your CV.


13. As the COO of a bulge-bracket firm who makes copious amounts of money from securities lending and prime brokerage, the CEO is demanding growth growth growth. One of your MDs has pointed out that the "uptick" rule is real nuisance, and that its abolition would increase turnover, short balances and net profits to your firm. How do you proceed with this apparently savvy observation?

(a) enagage powerful lobbysists to campaign for repeal or amendment of historical "impediments" to maximizing profits
(b) increase campaign contributions to friendly lawmakers who can turn the screws on the SEC
(c) both A & B
(d) Let your customers know, off-the-record, you will no longer be policing current regulations
(e) Let independent unbiased academic researchers have access to all your (and exchange data) and let good science assist in the making of public policy.


14. You are a well-connected CEO and CIO of a major-league hedge fund. Your circle of influential and important friends extends far and wide, so you are privileged to much material non-public information about takeovers, business prospects, and other market-moving news. You take your responsibility of delivering above-market returns to your investors very seriously. Your firm has acted on such information and profited handsomely as a result, but insider-trader investigations have caused the regulators to begin asking uncomfortable questions. Do you:

(a) Publicly deny and dismiss any and all allegations
(b) Instruct staff to destroy email records
(c) Call Bill to call Charlie to have him call off the dogs
(d) Hire a former senior SEC counsel with dirt on the investigators to head your newly-beefed up Compliance Department
(e) Admit unintentional transgressions, pay the fine. Be more careful in future.

(15) You are the manager of a large and successful hedge fund. As a result you are one of the most important customers of a bulge-bracket firm with whom you prime, and can always be counted on to trade upon their ideas, where such ideas are based upon reasonably sound information, generating commissions for the brokerage firm, increasing debit balances, and contributing further to the fund's returns that will attract new subscriptions, and virtuously increase the debit balances and commissions at the brokerage firm. (Note: some of the employees in the brokerage firm also invest personally in the fund). One day, you receive a call saying one of the brokerage firm's less important, (and admittedly more embarrassing) clients) is **highly** leveraged, and concentrated in a handful of long and short names which they (wink wink nod nod) kindly supply to you. Do you:

(a) "gun them hard", pushing the market-to-market on positions through the margin threshold, forcing liquidation which the broker then kindly offers to you to close out your shorts
(b) "gun them hard", pushing the market-to-market on positions through the margin threshold, forcing liquidation which the broker then kindly offers to you to close out your shorts
(c) Both A & B
(d) thank them politely, but do nothing.
(e) thank them politely, call the FSA, who will do nothing and think about retirement.

Scoring:
Calculate your total using a=5 b=4 c=3 d=2 e=1

Ethics & malfeasance forecast potential:
15-17 = Very Low - Dalai Lama, Mother Theresa, Bishop Tutu etc.
18-20 = Low - Eliot Spitzer (Do as I say, not as I do...)
20-30 = Medium - Ken Lay (Who knows what one will until faced with the heat of the moment)
30-35 = Elevated - Bernie Ebbers cellmate potential
35-45 = Very High - I **heart** Jeff Skilling!

An Idea Crunch

Sitting in my now-emptier-than-usual coffee shop, drinking my filter coffee (cappuccino's are too expensive!), I had an investment epiphany, or rather several. I thought to myself, "why not take my capital and build a new office building?". Yes, it's true there are half a dozen nearby still under construction, and the existing class-A space has ballooning vacancies and plunging rents, but I'll get the jump on the next cycle..right? Or, why not buy those 3 acres near the water and put up some condos on spec? If that doesn't work I can always turn them into time-shares, right?? Or maybe I should buy the 500 acres of under-utilized farm land and build an auto-assembly plant? Or a disc-brake manufacturing plant? Or an air-bag igniter operation? 250 room businessman's hotel, that does wedding on the weekends? Or I could build a new shopping mall, replete with swank boutiques and over-priced kitchen stuff and of course, a food-court. If that is too low-rent given the income inequality and distress at the lower-income end, I could build a designer-brand factory-outlet shopping center, since the nearest one is more than twenty-five miles away!! We could put a "Hooters" in the vast, usually empty, car-park which would draw the punters and happy-hour crowd. How about an independently-owned coal-fired power generation station? Nahhh, NIMBYs would handcuff me for years and the demand outlook remains tepid at best. Perhaps I could turn the currently disused, former discount store with large empty parking lot on the national highway into a logistics center, by expanding the loading bays at the back, and by putting a "Hooters" in the corner of the front parking lot? I know, maybe I should build a new municipal stadium with all the attendant concessions and super-boxes, and then I can lure a professional football or baseball team here? Perhaps a disc-drive plant? A credit-card operations center? A mortgage origination and processing center? What about a pilot fitness center of a chain that I will take nationwide? A supermarket? A car-dealer? A lawn & garden center? A new subdivision of 4000sq ft "luxury" homes squeezed onto 3000sqft lots with gallery ceilings? A new community bank? A coffee shop? A lumber mill? A factory for making paper-making felts? A community newspaper? A building materials supplier? Open a new hedge fund? OK maybe none of these qualify as epiphanies. Maybe for any of these, I couldn't even find the finance I needed it despite my equity. But upon closer inspection, maybe credit crunch is wrong description. Maybe it's a actually a useful productive idea crunch. Maybe, we are - for the moment - overbuilt, over-satiated, over-consumed, and just full-up. And that is before we ask anyone for credit. Certainly not everyone, for there is obvious dire need on the north and east sides of town, Am I am crazy to even be thinking about making useful productive investments? Maybe not, but I think back to Yossarian of Joseph Heller fame, refusing to fly more missions, so he's protesting naked in a tree, and sent to the army shrink.

Doc Daneeka: So I understand you don't want to fly any more missions.
Yossarian: Yes that's right
Doc Daneeka: Why not?
Yossarian: Because there's lots of young people my age, back home, going out, getting drunk, having a good time, and that's what I should be doing
Doc Daneeka: But were at war, with a brutal and merciless enemy. What if everybody felt as you do...?!?
Yossarian: Then I'd be a fool to feel any different.

Yea, maybe I'm not crazy, but I'm probably a fool...

An Indecent Proposal Indeed

Oh it's late, but reader 212213 has brought to my attention Warren Lichtenstein's proposal (as reported by Reuters) to float "his" Steel Partners II Fund in order to errrr ummm attempt to do something redeeming. No... redeeming is not the correct word for that is what most of his investors would like to do following their 40% smelting. Irredeeming is perhaps the more apt term. For it would seem that the hedges so carefully and scornfully explained to dear Cassandra in the comments section of this post perhaps by Mr Lichtenstein himself (or one of his soon-to-be unemployed lackeys) would seem not to have quite worked out the way Mr Lichtenstein (or lackey) suggested they would. But the Lord workeths in strange and mysterious ways. Particularly the God of the Old Testament who was forever smiting that which wasn't entirely kosher and even some that were. Ignoring that, Mr Lichtenstein's fate should come as no surprise to readers of this blog, or anyone with even a double-digit intelligent quotient, for rarely was there a more cockamamied harebrained and self-serving basis for an investment fund than this one. And now, having left investors exposed to the elements and rusting; now, with only Pig Iron left of the Steel, Mr Lichtenstein would like a vote of confidence that would in effect grant him permanent capital in order to lighten his Limited "Partners" of yet more money.

I admit that I haven't seen Steel's letters to investors explaining recent performance or proposing a solution to the situation highlighted by Reuters. But I can tell you with certainty that a perfect storm was NOT responsible, but near-fraud, and almost-certain neglectful misrepresentation and stupidity are to blame. Strong stuff, yes, but below are the posts - most which in hindsight were reasonably prescient - which detail what in my market vernacular is a more cynical form of ponzi for it attempts to justify the scheme with bullshit bullshit bulllshit, to veneer over the S.O.P. of using the weight of NEW INVESTOR money to buy monstrously concentrated positions in illiquid securities at higher and higher prices. And as much as I hate reading old posts, it is worth trolling through these for the record.

Be Careful What You Wish For
December 27th 2005. Ruminates upon the differences between American and Japanese systems, introducing Activists (and Steel) as forces to be evaluated (then dismissed).

New Shock & Horror: Livedoor Fraud!! January 17 2006 Near-fraud and market manipulation discussed as adjunct to Horie's Livedoor shocker (or not).

Pirating Buccaneering and Steeling October 4th 2006 Detailed analysis of Tom Hudson's (Cap'n Hook?) bizarrely hilarious problems and activism in Japan. I think this was a great post, (please read!!) which foretold with uncanny accuracy The Great Unraveling of activists. Yet sadly all it achieved were two Spammer comments. Ummm I guess the Fund of Funds and Steel investors' missed this one...

Bully Steels Candy From Baby November 29, 2006 Brief discussion of the "sacrifice" of Myojo Foods, forcing its sale to Nissin (#2897), and paying the greenmailer Stel, rather than letting the unworthy carpetbaggers get their smelly paws on one of the crowning achievements of the corporate food industry in Japan: Instant Noodles!

How Do You Hide An Elephant?!? December 22 2006 Analysis of large-shareholder reporting shenanigans in japan. Porsche must have read this one...

Man of Steel May 8th 2007 See them here!! Photos of the camera-shy activist in Korea taken from the sacking of KT&G meeting. How tall is he?!?!

9513 to TCI: "......"%#&k &##" ! June 4th 2007 Like the waves of cannon fodder in WW1, yet another foreigner storms the fortress. Forecasts [correctly] the travails of TCI, and Steel.

When You Wish Upon A Star June 6 2007 Included some mention about Steel Partners and Tokyo Hostess Bars

Reprint of Bulldog Sauce Letter to Steel (In Full) June 12 2007 Very funny (at least I thought so, but no one else commented!) reprint of mock-letter from Bulldog telling Mr Lichtenstein to "Please Fuck-Off" [again]...

Team Japan 1 - Activists 0 June 30 2007 Detailed look at the implications of TCI vs Japan Power suggesting patience will be the victor. Remember Muhammad Ali's famous rope-a-dope?!?!

Megan's Law For Activists in Japan
July 19th, 2007 Comment on the labeling of Steel as "An Abusive Acquirer..."

Team Japan 3 - Carpetbaggers 1 July 24 2007 Yet another hostile acquirer rebuffed. Score now? See the board....

The World in 2008 - A Sneak Preview December 17 2007 My forecasts for 2008 including the demise of Steel Partners. Pretty damn good overall (Naked Capitalism highlighted it because of the unrequited forecast that Condi Rice would leave like a rat on a sinking ship. The one I am most proud of: "The best investment in 2008 will be disinvestment..." Need I have said more?

A Kindler Gentler Kind of Greenmailer May 6 2008 Recap of late-innings desperation by Steel to be nice and ask kindly for management to b uy their large unmarketable stakes in highly illiquid enterprises. Foretold of doom to come....and now arrived. I think this one was VERY funny, but as with most of the things I think are VERY funny, few others do...at least judging by the comments

A Bad Hair Day For Aderans' Management May 29, 2008 This is was one that jerked the chain of someone in Steel's organization. He rudely and amateurishly tried to argue the case, and then finally shut-up at the suggestion that Steel be transparent and show the time sales & prices to dispel the notion that it was a market-impact trade on illiquid securities. THIS IS A MUST READ IF ONLY FOR THE EXCHANGES IN THE COMMENTS.

Effingly Absurd Efforts July 22 2008 Effingly amusing post actually about home grown Steel imitator Effissimo, rooting for the lions to finish Steel off and put them out of their misery.

So where does the proposal leave investors? Between a rock and a hard place. Vote to float, and the ingrate who got you there is rewarded. Redeem, and you will get royally buggered on the exit, or perhaps pursuant to the fine-print, payment-in-kind which would be a rag-tag-bag of illiquid stakes in cheap-for-a-reason enterprises.

But the audacity of the suggestion is what should incense investors most of all. It would be like being a customer at a restaurant where you've been very obviously poisoned by the appetizer and main courses, so much so, that you've bee rolling and vomiting all over the floor and now are dry-heaving bile, when the owner personally comes up to you and smarmily asks what you'd like for dessert, and whether you'd like to reserve the same table next week, same time.

The Directors should fire Mr Lichtenstein and appoint a new manager to unwind the book WITHOUT FURTHER ENRICHING THE EXISTING MANAGER. Someone errrr like me!??!? Well, at least I would charge reasonable fees, be trying to figure out how to get my investors out of the Steel Partners Hell-hole rather than partying with Denise Rich in St Tropez, and not be self-serving other than put a bit of grub on my family's table, and perhaps most importantly, I would - as I have always been in the past - and contrary to current management, be a true and proper fiduciary.

The Enigma of Martin Armstrong (revisited)

Martin Armstrong's name is surfacing once again, as cyclically recurrent as perhaps predicted by his theories. One would be forgiven for possibly attributing this to the recent revelation that another Ponzi (Mr Madoff's) was surpassed that of his own. Or it might be that people were having second thoughts on the veracity of his theories given the state of the financial system and the bucking of the asset-price destruction trend by Gold, much the same way the Hebrews turned to golden calfs after dessicating in the desert for a while. Or it might be that Mr Armstrong has been writing again, (though this time from behind bars), and that it has received some traction by goldbugs, still enamoured by errrr ummm that about him they find attractive. Whatever the reality, Mr Armstrong is the nexus between them, and so I thought it opportune to re-post (with a few editorial clean-ups) an old post from Aug 2006 entitled "The Enigma of Martin Armstrong".

Anyone with anything to add (for the Record) on the specifics of PEI, it's trading, Japanese Repair Bonds, Cresvale, Marty's affiliation with Magnum "scion" Dion Friedland, should feel welcome and encouraged to do so here. Read on....


Monday, August 21, 2006

The Enigma of Martin Armstrong

Some memories fade, but are never entirely forgotten. The same holds true for certain personalities, particularly the bizarrre and eccentric. One such notorious individual is Martin Armstrong a.k.a. Princeton Economics a.k.a. self-professed expert in the history of money and things gold, and in keeping true to my theme, of things Japanese. He was accused of a large Ponzi fraud, of hiding the alleged spoils, and of being the purveyor of the notoriously unvaluable "Cresvale Bonds" that besotted Japanese corporate investors and populated their portfolios, much to their eventual chagrin. Coincidentally, as a result of some inexplicable synchronicity, I was wondering only a few weeks ago what's become of Mr Armstrong and was preparing a post to that affect, so it is timely coincidence indeed that, after languishing for six-and-a-half years in a Manhattan jail cell, he finally pleaded guilty to charges of "fraud" on Thursday, August 17th 2006.

For those unfamiliar, or too merely too young to know, Martin Armstrong was a confidence trickster, if not an outright fraudster for which he was accused. Martin Armstrong was also a Bad trader. A very VERY Bad (note upper case "B") and inept trader. And it is reasonably certain Martin Armstrong committed fraud to cover up his very bad trades. And then he committed more trades in an attempt to cover up his fraud on a hope and prayer all would eventually come good. Most of these were in Nikkei and in Gold. Contrary to the laughable ineptitude with which he implemented his "strategies", by most accounts he was smooth, suave and authoritative, in a way that encouraged people to entrust to him their money. Which he then duly lost. Many many hundreds of millions of US dollars. Perhaps billions of US dollars, but we don't know precisely because Mr Armstrong has not spoken other than (until this week) to deny his accused. The official court dockets (available on-line) from his 1999 indictment in the Manhattan district of US Federal Court read like a Shakespearean comedy. The more he traded, the more he lost. So much and so bad were his trades that his colleagues, and brokers mercilessly joked about it behind his back. He was, according to the same court docket, so consistently wrong-footed in his punts that he would have done far better flipping a coin to decide whether or not to be long or short. Or use the infamous "Ask the 8-Ball" Method. Or consult Nancy Reagan's financial astrologer, or even seek the advice of Anatole Kaletsky. Anything but use his own judgement.

Though his company, Princeton Economics, had head offices in the US, he traded from Tokyo in an office overlooking the gardens of the Imperial Palace. For Japan had a special place in his scheme. You see, ironically, the Japanese too, in undertaking their own form of financial-speculation-gone-awry known as Zaitech, had lost billions in late 80's and early 90's on dubiously-thought-out wrong-footed speculation and stock-market investment. Like Martin Armstrong, shell-shocked by large lossess, they were too ashamed and/or embarrassed to tell their shareholders that they had punted wrongly, or in UK football vernacular, scored the financial equivalent of an "own-goal". Not willing to come clean, they found themselves with a serious problem and yearned for a clever and tidy solution that would absolve them of the thing they feared most, which was NOT the losing of the money itself, but accepting responsibility for it, a dilemma not unlike that faced by I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby.

Enter Martin Armstrong and the almost forgotten Cresvale Securities. He too had a problem since his golden-tongued investment plans, proved rather less robust than hoped [and promised] and resulted in large trading losses for his clients. It seems from the prosecution's accusations that he was able to continue his scheme (until this point) and make payments to the clients who redeemed by using the proceeds from new investors. This, however was proving more difficult as losses mounted, and so he desperately needed new clients. Big clients. Well-heeled clients who wouldn't be asking for their money back any time soon. Such as money from the trust of someone deceased. Better yet, a dead-pet trust!!. Or even better: a Japanese corporate client that themselves had a big dirty secret to hide.

And so they found each other: the companies, like an inveterate gambler, desperate for an investment saviour who with promises of high returns - would, over time, regain their previous losses, rescuing them from certain the humiliation and shame that they most dreaded (not to mention a demotion to the Corporate Travel Office, or Janitorial Services Dept.) and Armstrong, now with a fresh load of clients, and more importantly, their cash. In between them stood Cresvale Japan, the securities firm who brought them together, gave legitamacy to both their pursuits, and took nice fees out of the middle in the process, and in so doing torpedoed themselves out of existence.

The scheme ( I am conjecturing here) worked something like this: Japanese Corporate 'Y' perhaps had lost $100,000,000 speculating through a subsidiary, selling say Nikkei Put Options or buying boatloads of overvalued shares after consulting with Madame Inoue's Buddhist toad (tip: this is one of my favorite posts!!). They were able to hide this financial pustule for a while by playing "pass the parcel". perhaps between offshore subsidiaries with different year-ends. Thus their consolidated accounts still showed these losses as assets at their full value on their balance sheets. So Armstrong/Cresvale proposed they swap $50,000,000 of new money for a "repair bond" with a maturity value equal to the full $150,000,000 ($100mm of losses + $50mm of new money) and then let Magic Martin do his thing. Here, they might have been sweet-talked, or they might have seen it more cynically as a win-win for If things went right, they would make their money back and everyone wins. If something went wrong, well they can blame the investment losses on Armstrong, call it fraud, and take write-offs, without having to take responsibility in the first instance. (note: this is sketch of the essence, not the actual details).

This is all interesting, but what really fascinated ME about this story is that in the mid-90s, certain un-named American value investors had eyed a number of Japanese companies that they believed "cheap" because they seemed to have large amounts of un-specified cash & marketable securities reported on their balance sheets, relative to their now-diminished market capitalizations. In some cases these balances were in excess of the firm's entire market capitalization. Many reasons were put forth explaining the phenomena such as: "empire building"; "small-float and closely-held"; "saving for a rainy day"; "deflation"; "management conservativeness"; "investor pessimism"; "adverse taxes upon large distributions"; "legal inability to conduct share buy-backs" etc. All these seemed somewhat plausible. Conspicuous by its absence, except as speculated by the most hardened, battle weary cynical gaijin observers was: "because it doesn't exist".

But clearly some people HAD to know about their losses. For other foreign banks (Paribas, Lehman, etc.) were in the so-called "repair bond" business. Other financial institutions had been counterparties to their sales of embedded Nikkei Put options. And many of the companies themselves were household names. Maybe their businesses were not as fraudulent as Armstrong's, but nonetheless their audited accounts and subsequent actions foraying into esoteric transactions were meant to deceive shareholders by masking losses and allowing them be amortized over many years.

Since I am here, writing this, readers must suspect that none of these things went according to plan. When the Armstrong fraud broke, many of the guilty Japanese Corporates had to come clean. Sort of. They claimed they were victims of fraud (and perhaps some truly were unsuspecting purchasers of Cresvale Bonds), but the "repair Bond" concept and angle was often lost on most external observers. Yakult Honsha (TSE#2267) was said to have $1bn of losses alone from their Armstron-relatedg assiociation, as well as engineering firm Chudenko (#1941); specialty chemcial maker Gun-Ei Co. (#4229) pharma co's. Kissei (#4547), and Towa Pharm (#4553), machine-tool giant Amada Corp (#6113), pneumatic specialist SMC (#6273), eletronic parts mfgr Alps Electric (#6770) advertising agency Asatsu (#9747), office furniture maker Itoki Crebio (#7972) and more than 50 other firms were deemed to be "stung" in the Ponzi's unraveling. Yakult's losses were apparently so big that they couldn't blame Armstrong for all of them with a straight face, but many other co.s did, and [perhaps as planned] were "absolved" of culpability for their original sins.

The epilogue was that Armstrong, accused of Fraud, sat in jail for contempt of court, and was not brought forth to trial for his alleged failure to turnover evidence and in particular, to tell authorities the whereabouts of $15mm of gold and silver coins and bronze statues he'd reputedly squirreled away. It was the longest such languishment for contempt in United States history. All the while, he's claimed that he was innocent of the fraud itself. I make no judgement here, but it seems likely from the court documents and testimony of accused accomplices at HSBC he that committed fraud in the form of the ponzi that used new proceeds to pay old losses. His brokers, Republic Bank, (now the behemoth HSBC) coughed up nearly USD$600mm for their part in not alerting authorities to the potential wrong-doing, which court documents allege, they were well aware. That said, a good portion of the suspected so-called "losses were not "embezzlement" or "theft", per se, as the newspapers and Japanese Corporates would have readers believe, but out-and-out ineptitude and shitty trading. The subsequent deceit and using proceeds of one investor to pay another, and, well, we know what that is called.

His reversal and decision to enter a guilty plea may reflect that Armstrong the man met Armstrong the fraudster. Or it may reflect Armstrong's understanding that having spent six years in jail, an admission of guilt might allow him to squeeze a few years of freedom in his (no pun intended) "Golden Years".

For investors, the only the protection they can afford themselves is doing appropriate due diligence and being highly skeptical of anything that purports to be "too good to be true", or turn base metals or paper into errrrr ummm gold.

And The Largest Fraudulent Conveyance Recipient Is...

Today, there are far more experts on the subject of Fraudulent Conveyance than there were several weeks ago. And rightfully so, since it is a fascinating concept - particularly in the $50bn case of He Who I've Promised Not To Discuss as one of my year's resolutions, and one that in days of old might have merited a lively discussion in the The Talmud. Roger Ehrenberg at Information Arbitrage discussed the perils in this case. It generated many passionate comments, yet, missed one of the most fascinating and salient aspects of the case which was kindly highlighted by reader "Shairon The Parliamentarian" (profile sadly unavailable):

Perhaps the singularly largest beneficiary as a recipient of fraudulently conveyed funds was the United States Government since many of the redeemers will have paid capital gains taxes upon the BLM redemptions with fraudulently conveyed funds. As a result, it will be incumbent upon them to disgorge said tax receipts back to the administrator for ultimate redistribution. Given the length of time many investors were "in", the capital gains, and thus the taxes thereupon would, one might assume, be very large.

Nothing like kicking someone when they are down! And it gets worse for Uncle Sam since (as has been widely pointed-out) the investment losses will offset investment gains for many taxpayers (only of course if ever again investment gains outside the US Govt Bond market resurface again within the statute of limitations for their carry-forward) for years to come.

Farewell, then 2008...

So, farewell then
two-thousand
and-eight -
end of Bush-folly
and the Bubble Of
The American Way.

To some
you were
eponymously
known as the
Year of The Rat.

To others
you were
just as aptly
annus horribilus

Volatility,
asset price destruction,
fear, greed, hubris,
fraud, collapse,
deleveraging and
revulsion were your
catch-phrases.

'Tis astonishing
what it takes to
convince The People
to live within
their collective
means.

I Am Shocked That You're Shocked...!!

The name Bernard L. Madoff has been upon everyone's lips of late - even those who know nothing about finance, hedge funds, or the subtleties regarding how to execute a good Ponzi. And I can understand the awe at the numbers - even though $50 billion is on the high side given its compounding of non-existent returns, for one cannot lose what they never had. Yet, despite the size, I remain shocked that industry people are "SHOCKED" or even just "shocked. While I will admit to being surprised that of all the possible Ockham-friendly explanations, Ponzi was the culprit, I can say with certitude that it was "relief" rather than "shock" that I felt, since the revelation finally solved a long-outstanding and personally troubling market non-sequitir.

Yet through all the analysis, uproar, indignation, and financial horror, I AM shocked that the media and commentators of all persuasions have left untouched the details that I find most fascinating. These pertain to contemplating Mr Madoff's inner monologue throughout, his relationship with his wife, how (if you believe the sons) he managed to avoid discussing the sordid details in conversations with his sons over Mom's Sunday-evening pot-roast and egg-noodles (did she cook or merely press her speed-dialer to book tables at Le Cirque and Daniel???) . Perhaps this is because I have never taken the study of psychology to any depth; perhaps it is because I myself am such a pathetic liar I cannot countenance a serious confabulation, but neither deters my morbid fascination with what Mr Madoff must have been thinking at various crossroads during the swindle, such as when he went for a slash in the mens room after delivering a congratulatory address to the Hadassah who were amongst the very people he was taking to the cleaners!! Did Mr Madoff go to Synagogue? Might there not have been moments during the one solemn service or another where he felt deep remorse and regret to such an extent he would end the charade there and then? And how many times did his inner-self feel near collapse as the proximity of discovery approached during the numerous occasions over the fifteen years - be Long-Term Capital (many industry redemptions), the Tech Wreck, or the publishing of the Barron's article. How much time did he put into contemplating what P&L would be contextually acceptable...in other words: did he agonize over whether -0.09% would be more reasonable than -0.12%? Did anyone help him in these ruminations? Did he devise a method for fabricating returns in the positive months - e.g. the way Luke Rhinehart did in The Dice Man?? Did he keep a little Black Book of all the lies and half-truths he told to various people in order to keep them straight? Is it really possible that FG's Walter Noel, Andres Piedrahita and Jeffrey Tucker REALLY didn't know what was up? Did he despise himself even more when he read about the "honest" Wall St. fortunes made by Dr Simons and David Shaw? What went through BLMs thinning head when another $100mm hit his account from the wire? Was it celebratory (popping a vintage Krug) or merely a sigh of relief at living to fight another day, to have another pedicure, another meal at Boulud's place, another massage (happy ending?) almost Sisyphusian given the lack of meaning for whatever meaning there might have been (family, love, tzedakah, good works?) would pale in comparison to the scale of what awaited just around the around the corner that would surely shred whatever meaning he might have self-deceived himself into thinking his life possessed.

Perhaps, though, I am getting too cerebral here. Perhaps a sociopath is entirely self-delusional. Perhaps the sociopath believes he has achieved what he has merely conjured and is an equal to Dr Simons and Mr Shaw. I do not know. But I continue to wonder...

A Satire-Free Day? No Thanks...

Happy Holidays To All !!

If You Can't Tell Who The Sucker Is....

Thumbing through the sell-side research from their multitudes of Strategists, I notice some recurring phrases, small and innocuous as they may be, that trouble me. Time and again, they repeat, in various contexts, the mantras: "when things return to normal", "when markets return to normal", and "when x, y or z normalizes" with "normal" implied to be that which has been common over the past decade-or-so in respect of liquidity, leverage, asset prices, equity risk premiums, speculative activity, growth. Mulling this over, I wonder to myself: "is this not just the perfect "recency bias" example, defined by wikipedia as "a cognitive bias that results from disproportionate salience of recent stimuli or observations"? For as I consider what precisely is meant by "normal", it seems to me that there is a reasonable good chance insofar as this IS "The Big One" (as Bridgewater Associates precsiently termed it nearly a year ago) that all these things - debt, leverage, consumption vs. income, relative asset prices - are ALREADY returning to normal, and the strategists, demonstrating the old poker joke about "if you look around the table and you don't know who the sucker is, its you....", simply haven't yet fathomed the appropriate interval frame of the normality to which things are returning towards.

In Japan, "normal" meant that in 2004 residential real estate prices were roughly 30% of late 1980s or early 1990s prices. In Germany , though nominal prices might be similar in many places to those prevailing two decades ago, the real price destruction would be probably be similar to Japan's. But what is "normal" for economic growth? Or what is "normal" for aggregate US consumption? Or the amount of debt a typical household can sustain? What is the "normal" leverage for a bank, or the normal return on equity o a listed company? What is a normal share of GDP for corporate profits in an economy experiencing deep recession? What is "normal" for sustainable government budget deficits? What is the normal income multiple of a banker or CEO to a policeman, a professional baseball player to a school-teacher or a doctor to a nurse? What is the normal amount of due diligence a bank should do before extending a loan and what is normal for the amount Honeywell Industries will earn per-share in the coming years?

These may seem disparate and unrelated, but I fear they are not. I fear that the final acceleration towards the denoument of Peak Credit, rooted as it was in poor fiscal policies and lack of regulation & oversight, greased with monetary ease and official foreign mercantile enablement, and driven by parochial and herd-like animal spirits, has distorted what is normal, what should be expected, and of course, what is, and will prove to be reasonably sustainable in the future. But the Strategists, the ones who've offended my sense of the normal, seem, in their sanguineness, to be implying that is was normal to extend credit as it was during the last eight years; that gains in asset prices (be they a a portrait of Dr GachetNYC apartments, Chelsea or Notting Hill pied-a-terres ?) are normal at somewhere nearer to the top of their seemingly almost-exponential three-decade rise; that it is normal that US households continue to live with negative rates of savings or consume en masse beyond their means; or cavalierly burn hydrocarbons at the elevated relative per-capita rates that they do presently; that past income-inequality, now rolled-up into massive eddies of wealth discrepancy that approach those which evoke those prevailing during the enclosures in England are normal, and that their sense of normalcy will swiftly return despite the continued pressure to the contrary upon the financial sector, and households to return to a normalcy of a much different mean than those of the recent past, which in their turn directly the impact the corporate sector with body blows from BOTH the cost and availability of their gearing and the ultimate demand for their products.

I do not believe (yet) that we are about to beat each with bones back to the stone-age. But I believe that what we've seen in leverage and credit growth during the past 15 years is NOT normal, nor is it sustainable - neither relative to history or in absolute terms. And this return to what is sustainable, and service-able has profound economy-wide, implications, and they are indisputably contractionary: deleveraging, higher savings rates, matching household consumption to income, and government revenues to expenditure. Add to this the impending pull of demographics, the emerging trend towards greater environmental consciousness and sustainability, and "normal" begins to resemble a mean-that is something of a much different magnitude, something still to the south of where we are that - in the big time series - we will continue to revert towards from our presently divergent location rather than - as the Strategists imply - a normal that is something we've already overshot.

Happiest Man in the World...?!?

It has always seemed obvious to me that pleasure should not be confused with happiness. Perhaps it was lingering from my readings of DT Suzuki years ago, or my upbringing, but it's always been an intuition that's accompanied me. So strange as it may sound, this fact is - or rather should be - an important consideration in policy-making, particularly when considering choices in developed economies, say between growth and the environment or, between the rate of growth (or contraction!) now and the rate in the future, as well as marginal tax rates amongst other things.

Such notions are all too often summarily dismissed, and baselessly so, since according to Matthieu Ricard, a French scientist and buddhist monk, "happiness" is tangibly within the mind, and he is working to scientifically demonstrate precisely that, with some fascinating results.

His optimism and peace are as infectious as the Dalai Lama for whom he traslates, and I recommend everyone take 30 minutes and listen to what Mssr Ricard has to reveal about his life, meditation, and happiness.

List to BBC "Heart & Soul" Interview with Matthieu Ricard - Happiest Man in the World

Urgent Response Required

Mr. Ogechukwu Kanma (Bank Manager)

Union Bank PLC


Lagos Branch


Lagos, Nigeria

Attn/President/CEO



Dear Sir,

I am Ogechukwu Kanma, Bank Manager of Union Bank PLC, Lagos Branch. I got your contact from the World Trade Center (W.T.C.) Regional office in Lagos, Nigeria although the details of my intention was not made
known to them. Actually, I listed your name amongst four other names and prayed over them and God revealed
you to me and I decided to contact you directly. I have a very urgent and confidential business proposition
for you for our overall mutual interest.

For the past 18 years, an American Business Executive, one Mr Bernard Madoff has made a number secret deposits valued at USD$50,000,000.000.00 (Fifty Billion American dollars) into an account at my Branch. I recently sent a routine notification to his forwarding address and called his telephone but got no reply. Then I see the news that he is in jail! On further investigation I found out in the fine print that for this type of account Mr Bernard Madoff must come personally to my branch to withdrawal the funds. 

This sum of USD$50,000,000,000.00 is still sitting in the Bank and the interest is being rolled over with the
principal sum at the end of each year. And he cannot come forward to claim it, since Mr Bernard Madoff is under house arrest with a designer ankle bracelet. According to Nigerian Law, in such cases, the money will revert to the ownership of the Nigeria Government if nobody applies to claim the funds.

Consequently, my proposal is that I will like you as a foreigner, with a foreign-sounding name, to stand in as the next of kin of to Mr. Bernard Madoff so that the fruit of this old man's labor will not get into the hands of some godless and corrupt government
officials. 

The plan is simple;


(1) I will like you to provide me immediately with your full names, address, social security number, and credit card details (including the expiration date and little number on that back that they always ask you for when you make purchase over the telephone), your mother's maiden name, your email, and driver's license number so that the attorney will prepare the necessary documents and affidavits, which will put you in place as the next of kin.



(2) We shall employ the services of two attorneys for drafting and notarization, and obtain the necessary documents and letter of probate/administration in your favor for the transfer.

(3) A bank account in any part of the world, which you provide, will then facilitate the transfer of this
money to you as the beneficiary/next of kin of Mr. Bernard Madoff. The money will be paid into your account
for us to share!! in the ratio of 60% for me and 40% for you. There is no risk at all as all the paperwork
for this transaction will be done by the attorney and my position as the Branch Manager guarantees the
successful execution of this transaction. If you are interested, please reply immediately via this private email address. 

(4) And don't worry about your bank being suspicious about the transfer as I will make sure to split up the wires into units of less than 10,000 ($9,999.99) to avoid detection on the Fed wire. If I make 10 of these per business day (excluding Nigerian Public Holidays & Fela Kuti's birthday) we will complete the transfers in only 500,000 business days!! Imagine the happiness of your soul to receive your 40% of USD$100,000 for the next 500,000 business days!

Upon your response, I shall then provide you with more details and relevant documents that will help you
understand. Please observe utmost confidentiality being certain that whatever you do DO NOT CONTACT THE SEC or anyone by the name of Arpad Busson as they might spoil our little deal. 

Rest assured that this transaction would be most profitable for both of us because I shall require your assistance to invest my share in your country - hopefully in a nice and safe hedge fund or fund-of-hedge-funds, preferably one with consistently high returns and low-risk. 



Awaiting your urgent reply via this email above, and please save me the anxiety of endless waiting.

God bless you.



/signed/

Mr. Ogechukwu Kanma


Union Bank PLC,


Lagos,Nigeria

Zero - The Loneliest Number?!?

In The Secret Bank of Japan Lexicon, I attempted to demystify all things ZIRP for financial Japan-o-philes. But as we are all ZIRPers now (or soon will be ZIRPers - Hi Merv!), I thought it might useful to update the lexicon to help Anlgo-Saxons familiarize themselves with the new paradigm of.... Z E R O, "oh", "null", "nil", "naught".

ZIRP (c) - The policy of pricing money as if it were free, thereby encouraging its creation in [errr hopefully?!?] unlimited quantities to any and all comers, for the stated purpose of avoiding deflation, though actually it is to make sure that those whose eyes were bigger than their stomachs don't explode, which ostensibly is less than desired by anyone. 

nearZIRP(sm)(c) - same as the above, only a few basis points higher; usually meant to keep at least one final bullet for the FRB in the eventuality things get even more FUBAR. Also can be used on the rebound in order to allow the FRB to keep the fallacy alive that it is symmetrical insofar as it takes similarly aggressive action against inflation as it is against deflation. (See also:  ZIRP-lite)

ZIRPtastic - The feeling of joy and bliss that overcomes the borrower of "free money" upon swapping US Dollar paper for something that will depreciate less.

ZIRPflation - The likely future consequence of ZIRP.

disZIRPflation - The temporary state of purgatory where core asset and commodity prices are falling coincidental to ZIRP, and/or nearZIRP.

ZIRPulation - Leveraged specutrage predicated upon borrowing Dollars at nearZIRP for investment in anything and everything nonZIRP.

ZIRP-sixed - Losing one's hedge fund either by maintaining long risky-asset positions enroute to ZIRP, OR, maintaining short risky-asset trades beyond their sell-by date (See Donchian Channel Breakout)

ZIRPcurve Risk - The aggregate embedded risk in a ZIRPified financial system where the paucity of short-end yield induces investors to "reach for yield" by going farther out on the curve, thereby squashing long-term rates towards ungodly low levels that cause a bubble in the long end, circularly making it near-impossible to shift policy or paradigms without inducing massive mark-to-market capital losses throughout the financial system. (See: "the folly of sequential bubble- blowing")

1st Law of ZIRP-o-dymanics - For every borrower there is a lender causing the net stimulatory benefits of ZIRP to be lost as savers now devoid of income curtail consumption.

2nd Law of ZIRP-o-dymanics - Exceptional circumstance of 1st Law where lenders are foreign, allowing the possibility that domestically , the net stimulatory effect might be positive.

ZIRPstamps - Food Coupons issued to OAPs (Old Age Pensioners) who live off of the interest from fixed-income investments, and as a result, now require income supplements.

ZIRPerrific - Celebratory "High-fives all around" in the Treasury War Room when stocks fall less than "a few percent", swap spreads converge, Jim Cramer finally shuts-the-fuck-up.

ZIRPBento - The FreeLunch(c) Box served in Financial cafeterias, but available to any and all comers.

ZIRPtomism - The belief that the power of positive-thinking and free-money will allow something-for-nothingism to live yet another day.

ZIRPquake - - Colassal dislocation in financial markets when eventual unwinding of ZIRP-related positions occurs.

neoZIRPeralism - Using all manner of monetary policy tools to insure the neoliberal regime suurvives. (See Income inequality, Public Interest, Beggar-Thy-Neighbor)

ZIRPing-on-a-String" - Economic state describing the ineffective outcome of employing ZIRP monetary strategies when the the root causes of America's ills has next-to-nothing to do with the price of money, and everything to do with unimaginable financial and regulatory policy mismanagement and neglect during eight years of the Bush Admin.

ZIRPatility - The phenomena describing the schizophrenic market adjustments to ZIRP as they attempt to fathom whether deflation or inflation will prevail.

ZIRPocracy -Describes capitalism's policy paradox where the market price is proffered to be essential to the optimal, (or reeasonable approximation thereof) allocation of a scarce resource excepting when it comes to finding clearing prices for stocks, real estate, and anything covered by TARP, TAF, TSLF

ZIRPlosion - - Eventual market relapse caused by putting-off until tomorrow what should be adjusted to today.

ZIRPO - The fourth Marx Brother.....

Sympathy For The Devil

Bernie Comes Out of the Closet

Not a year has gone by during the past fifteen that I have not contemplated what Bernie Madoff did (or didn't do) to make his money. Seventy to one-hundred basis-points-a-month. Net. Net. Net. During tempests, earthquakes, panics and crashes - even during the closure of the exchange itself, Bernie apparently minted coin like few others. Even Renaissance and Shaw tripped occasionally. Not Bernie. Yet no one new what he did. It was one of the best kept secrets in the world. Oh yeah, sure, split-strike conversions were the official line. But every skeptical arb trader knew this couldn't be true.

I also never came across an ex-Madoff trader the way one meets ex-Shaw, ex-Moore Cap, or ex-Citadel employees. Resumes are sent in reply to postings and guys have done the rounds, even if they weren't unhappy and making a moral statement. A spouse moves...whatever. Surely there must be disgruntled Madoffians somehwere, right?. Were they ummm underground? I mean, iterally? My friends at a large IB (who were soliciting business from them years ago) who'd been to their offices said it looked the bridge from the USS Enterprise (the Starship - The Next Generation version). Entry to the IM sub was strictly verboten. Uh huh. He said it was a paperless office. No paper trails. Hmmmm. Violators were fired. Weird. No one transgressed.

Whatever he did, he came a long way from arbing the odd-lots that were the reputed foundation of his activities. I knew his shop from London where he was one of the few to make markets in US stocks out of hours, and if my clients for whatever (mostly ill-advised) reason needed to trade instantly, Bernie would make a price. Not necessarily a good price, but a price. But one does so at their peril since the folk with material non-public information are more predisposed to want to trade outside hours, so the pick-off risk was huge. But he never complained.

Next thing I know, he's at the center of electronic trading revolution - an electronic market-maker facilitator at the center of trading universe. Yet even Timber Hill has bad hair days. Volkswagen ord-pref days. Not Bernie. Is he arbing the exchange fee structure? Is he algorithmically scalping cause he's seeing the order flow before it gets to the exchange? Maybe. Profitably? Who knows? But I didn't have a problem with an old jewish guy making markets. This is what we DO. But there are these investment funds - Fairfield Sentry and Kingate, and these are the issue. They are Madoff-only feeders reputed to be $7bn each. Are they funding his market-making? Why does he need so much capital? What the f*ck f*ck f*cking f*ck could he be doing in the equity markets with that muh capital and still keep it a secret AND deliver returns? They say they are doing these split strike conversions but I can't see how the numbers work. Nor can anyone else. The Wall Street Journal raises the red flags, in an article but it's dismissed as hyperbole disseminated by jealous competitors. But thge nagging thing is: there are lots of smart guys out there. More than sixty of them near Stonybrook with Simons focused on cracking the nut faster, better quicker, and this activity and result, I can understand. But there is no sign of such exactitude or intellectual firepower at Madoff. Just 70 to 100 bps per month, secretiveness, and dissonance.

In 2000, I advised a family-office on their alternative investments, and constructed a portfolio on their behalf. I had free rein (thanks! anon). Included in their legacy portfolio was a sizable Madoff position. As a fiduciary - and a conservative one - coming on the heels of LTCM which also lacked transparency and which made it hard for me to raiise capital - I dug, asked every welll-connected equity-finance, prime-broker, electronic trader and HF allocator type I knew and it still didn't add up. The best and brightest still had no more insight than I, though the skeptical shared my suspicions. So, I strongly suggested they "dump it". "One isn't being compensated sufficiently for not knowing, and something just isn't right here. Yeah maybe its OK, but I think it's not". But they liked "it" and they liked "him". "He's always paid", they said. "We've been with him a long time". Old school they were. Trusting. What the fuck did I know anyway?

Well it seemed to me that the "split-strike conversions" were profit shifting bookeeping tools. Money invested in the feeders did obtain split-strike conversion positions on their books that had an implied "yield" equal to their return but it seemed these were pre-arranged combinations that shifted return back to the investment vehicles and were "phontom" positions vs. Madoff securities. In the interim, Madoff presumably has use of the entire pool of capital, to do what he pleased, plus whatever that pool could command in terms of leverage from bank lines and financing sources. It could be in anything and everything. He could be doing mutual fund timing, or mutual-fund market impact trades. Credit arbitrage. Funding coiiup d'etats in Africa. or buying GSCI commodity swaps. More plausibly, he could be doing option and index-option market impact trades since he was ostensibly at the center of market flow, or he could be at the center of a loan-sharking network across America earning 50%pa, and here he was passing a paltry 9% back to investors. Either he was crooked beyond belief or he was an evil contrapreneurial genius. Who would have have thought he was both??!!

Some crimes are too perfect. Some facades too well-painted to be original or convincing. A good hustler knows he must lose sometimes in order to win. THAT is the reflection of reality that makes it believable, and gives confidence to the punter who will shortly be taken out. THAT was what was wrong with Bernie Madoff's ponzi. The people who were taken - like the Family Office and many others investors who in time will go public on their fleecing - wanted badly to believe they were onto to something that was so good that they ignored the most obvious signs of bogusness. It just didn't make sense. It just didn't add up. Even Jim Simons earns it. There is no free lunch.

There is something fitting and just in the timing of this. It is emblematic of America since Reagan and the Great Leveraging. Something for nothing. Thank you Mr Laffer. But as a philosophy and modus operandi it is quite literally, bankrupt and without merit. And Laffer has since been proven to be full of shit. Now, Americans will have to confront this, the premise that greed is good and self-guiding and somehow omnisciently beneficial for it has had repurcussions down to the core of our society and values. "Sorry everyone....what you've been pursuing has all been a lie, a big ponzi, a rat-hole to nowhere....". Re-boot.

"Trib Explodes"....Read All About It In The errr Trib?!?..!!

Only last week in "Of Perfect Storms and Horses' Asses" did I lament the disingenuity of blaming A Perfect Storm for what was almost certainly human errors of judgment. But yesterday, the Chicago Tribune itself reported that Mr Zell blamed none other than "A Perfect Storm" for the woes of his highly leveraged buyout of the windy city's venerable broadsheet.

Sam Zell's timing was near-perfect in pulling the rip-cord on Equity Office Properties as put onto a pedestal here, but he must be called out in blaming the exogenuous environment for the Trib's travails. For it had virtually everything to do with the $13bn debt-laden financial structure Mr Zell sought-out and engineered, as evidenced by the ho-hum (relatively speaking, of course) reaction of The Washington Post Co. to the present financial and economic dislocation. Even the New York times, itself wounded from the turmoil, sports a comfortable billion of equity market value. Depending upon one's view of course. Mr Zell's decision to employ boatloads of debt and NOT put up copious equity might be seen as brilliant, shifting as it did, the majority of risk to the now-forlorn lenders for his pecadillo - a participation for which they are undoubtedly experiencing so-called "lenders-regret" (those with jobs at least). That said, it IS rather insulting to the employees and other constituents of the Trib web to lay the blame somewhere else - not least that phony cesspit of non mea culpa called The Perfect Storm.

Of course hardship is becoming more widespread. The Trib is not the only to suffer, and certainly will not be the last to seek protection from creditors. And sheltering both workers and constituents from reality serves little purpose in the longer run where business models are also unsustainable in the longer run. But the unwillingness of The Captain to speak frankly about motives and structures and absolve himself of culpability too, serves little purpose other than to prevent Mr Zells own ego-cleansing and vilification. For while Mr Zell will be stung for some chump change (in comparison to his EOP bonanza), he will NOT, unlike employees - who will it must be said - bear the brunt of the adjustment, go down with the proverbial ship.

Grasshopper Regret??

Do grasshoppers regret? Aesop never told us. Are we on the verge of a new world order - a New Order so-to--speak? No, not yet, for it seems as if we are pulling out all the stops to save the old one, despite the elevated suspicion that the old one is too deeply flawed for rescue. But it begs the question: what might you do differently given another chance - something germane to the question posed of Mr Aesop's grasshopper? Aptly-named New Order contemplated the "second chance" theme in a different context, with their hit "Krafty" (videos een below), which even if it doesn't help with your ruminations on the subject should brighten-up your Sunday with welcome fantasial blast-from-the-past - my favorite track on that LP ...