Monday, October 19, 2009
Being right too often raises suspicion(s). It was what singularly raised the reddest of flashes about Madoff. Of course there are smart competent and hard-working people around. And some get it right more often than wrong, and perhaps in bigger size. But even the best get hosed, sometimes royally so.
Explaining away why and how one gets it - statistically speak - righter than perhaps they ought- and in larger size, must be a hot topic. Dr Simons can point to his army of PhD's, huge diversification and measured sized of his "bets". Others, however, are standing on far less terra firma. Contemplating some of the conversations currently being carried out in the offices of expensive defense attorneys around the nation, I have called upon my own sources of inside information able to conjure some possible balloons that are being floated to create an air of plausible deniability.
Some of the more popular include:
The Sgt Schultz Defense: "I know nothing..."
The Art Samberg Defense: "I've got an army of Harvard MBAs rummaging dumpsters, counting cars in chipmakers' parking lots, and tracking the spending habits of middle managements' wives to get an edge..."
The BornWinner Defense: "I am just plain darn lucky! (and I'd rather be lucky than smart..)"
The Miraculous Defense: "I've had these epiphanies ever since I was a boy and fell out of that tree.."
The Fantastical Defense: "I am a Time Traveler (and since when is Time Traveling illegal??!?)"
The Prophetic Defense: "When Moses and Mohammed heard these voices in their head, they were called Profits (sic.?!??). Why am I being singled out??!?
The Well-Passed Rumour Defense: "I was in this bar, you see, and this guys were talking....and I'd heard the same thing from lots of different sources..."
The "It's written in the Stars Defense": "I've a wonderful financial astrologer..."
The Ernest Saunders Defense: "I am sorry I forgot the question... who am I again??"
The "I am The Best" Defense: "I like to think I invest like Barry Bonds plays baseball or Ben Johnson runs the 100...."
The Manna From Heaven Defense: "Praise be the power of prayer!"
The Divine Inspiration Defense: "The Lord works in strange and mysterious ways..."
The Annointed One Defense: "I am unashamedly Master of The Universe. Who are YOU to question ME...???"
(Please feel free to any and all other plausible explanations)