Monday, March 03, 2008

A-u-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-st-t-t......

A-u-s ssssssss...

A-u-s-ssss-t...

A-u-s-ssssst-t-t-t-t...

A-u-s-sssst-t-t-terrrrrr...

A-u-s-s-s-s-t-t-?@??@###**

FRICK IT! B-B-B-E-L-T T-T-T-T-ightening.

Phew! There! I said it. Not that anyone in America seemingly understands its meaning, particularly those that rely upon VOTES for their election or re-deposition in the US Congress. Possibly because you're a trustafarian and never need fathom it. Perhaps because there appears to be little advantage to saving IF no one else is. Perhaps because you're a youngling and you've simply never seen it in your life time. So for the avoidance of doubt (one of my contract lawyer's favorite phrases), as a public service, I list, for your collective understanding of what will soon be coming to America, some synonyms for "austerity":
Albigensianism, Catharism, Franciscanism, Lenten fare, Sabbatarianism, Spartan simplicity, Spartanism, Trappism, Waldensianism, Yoga, abstinence, anchoritic monasticism, anchoritism, asceticism, astringency, austerity program, authoritarianism, baldness, bareness, candor, canniness, care, carefulness, chariness, common speech, demandingness, directness, discipline, economic planning, economicalness, economy, economy of means, eremitism, exactingness, exiguity, exiguousness, false economy, fasting, flagellation, forehandedness, frankness, frugality, frugalness, good management, grimness, hardness, harshness, homespun, household words, husbandry, inclemency, inornateness, jejuneness, jejunity, leanness, maceration, management, matter-of-factness, meagerness, meanness, mendicantism, meticulousness, miserliness, monachism, monasticism, mortification, narrowness, naturalness, niggardliness, openness, paltriness, parsimoniousness, parsimony, plain English, plain speaking, plain speech, plain style, plain words, plainness, prosaicness, prosiness, providence, prudence, prudential administration, puniness, puritanism, regimentation, restrainedness, rigid discipline, rigor, roughness, ruggedness, rustic style, scantiness, scantness, scrawniness, scrimpiness, self-denial, self-mortification, severity, simpleness, simplicity, skimpiness, slenderness, slightness, slim pickings, slimness, smallness, soberness, spareness, sparingness, starkness, sternness, stinginess, straightforwardness, strictness, stringency, thinness, thrift, thriftiness, tight purse strings, toughness, unadorned style, unadornedness, unaffectedness, unelaborateness, unfanciness, unfussiness, ungentleness, unimaginativeness, unpoeticalness, unwastefulness, vernacular, voluntary poverty

4 comments:

Macro Man said...

Err...perhaps post ski-trip fatigue has robbed me of my ability to recognize irony, but aren't all of those synonyms with austerity?

"Cassandra" said...

Holy Shit the damn Utahn beer done gone and fried MY brain! Noted and (embarrassingly) changed. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Or Oestereicherry bcaws you didn't go to trinken das gutes bier.

woland said...

Where is Grigorsk (later to become Gregory the great)
when we need him? Now THAT is a lesson in austerity!