Suspect Conclusions

In an informal unscientific analysis conducted by yours truly over the past few weeks whilst cycling my local (rather scenic, if I may say so) byways, some automobile makes and models along with their drivers profiles rank rather poorly in regards to road safety and civic-mindedness - at least as seen from the two-wheel, pedal-pushing perspective. The results are as follows...

3rd Runner Up: BMW X3 - It's not quite an SUV, and if it IS car...it is a shitty one. Likewise, the people who drive them also seem not to know what they are driving for even though it is essentially sized like a car, the oblivious drivers (if one can even call them that with a straight face) of these vehicles pilot them as if they were as unwieldy as a Dutchman's summer-holiday caravan being pulled down the A7 buffeted by the winds of the mistral, nearly clipping innocent and unsuspecting two-wheelers unfortunate enought to be anywhere remotely near their path. It begs the question: "Why DO they drive them?". Certainly not to be cool, for Jeremy Clarkson rightly points out: They are "about as cool as the Argyle sweater your colour-blind auntie bought you, worn in the height of summer while working in a bakery. In Uganda...."

2nd Runner Up Volvo XC90 - In all the kilometres I've been clocking up recently, I've yet to see a 40's-ish driver of this errrr ummm car (??!?) who didn't have a phone to her ear (and it certainly IS a "her") or lodged between her ear and her shoulder, gesticulating animatedly into thin air seemingly at no one, oblivious to the innocent cyclist she is about to send into the ditch, orphaning the rider's children. The cell-phone however is by no means the only danger, for it is likely that when the driver of this combine-harvester-sized Truck isn't on the phone, or isn't too frugal or/and has figured out how to use the Blue-Tooth hands-free system, she is so utterly distracted with what seems like an entire football-team of children packed into the bleachers behind the driver, that it is a wonder she hasn't killed herself and her family before. Or, perhaps she nearly has, which is why she's chosen a Volvo this time 'round. To her credit, she IS impeccably dressed, hair all in place, overly-expensive handbag, none of which , of course, matters the least to the hill climbing cyclist nanometers from being dismounted.

1st Runner Up (tie between Audi Q7 & any vintage Peugeot 205) - Let's be clear: the Q7 is NOT a car. It is not even in the same class as a camionette. It is unimaginably H-U-G-E. Cycling on the same road as this behemoth is similar to being stuck in cattle-class on a transcontinental flight (something I freely admit that know a thing or two about) next to the frighteningly obese person who rightfully should have purchased two seats. It is a wonder that the average female who drives this (and is not a professional beach volleyball player) can actually see over the dashboard, let alone the steering wheel, which would go far in explaining their apparent disregard for humble cyclists. Couple this with overly-tinted windows and manslaughter cannot be far away (not that the driver of such a vehicle would even notice the mosquito-like splat-on-the-windscreen of a collision with a two-wheeler of any variety excepting a >50lb Schwinn relic c1967.

The Peugeot 205 is another matter altogether. Ignoring Clarkson's view of Peugeot ("...I'd rather have my cheek super-glued to the arse of a horse than be seen driving one of these...") these cars are driven by young males who are always smoking, rarely fresh-shaven, with disinterested looks upon their faces, who, seemingly have little regard for the value of their own lives, which perhaps explains why they have so little regard for the lives of others when conducting themselves on the road, cyclists in particular. Patience, linguistically the same in French, seems to be excluded from their vocabulary as they believe their modified, rusting, POS is small enough to squeeze anywhere anytime - even between the struggling cyclist and over-sized Polish lorry barreling down the road in the other direction. Fortunately, for this cyclist, their cars ARE small, but it's no good excuse to add to the grey hairs of recreational bikers.

Winner (or biggest loser rather): BMW X5
This car, and their typically male 35-to-50 drivers, exude an "I-Don't-Give-A-Shit, Get-The-Fuck-Out-Of-My Way" egocentricity baffling to this pedal-pushing enthusiast. More often than not, they do not yield, depsite the adjacent cyclist juxtaposed to the oncoming traffic and impossibly blind corner ahead, but even when they do slow down to await a more prudential moment (while opportunely using the few-second pause to check messages on their Blackberry), one can feel the heat from the over-sized, over-engineered engine since they are impatiently only inches behind one's rear tire. Then, at the slightest opening, they punch the accelerator so forcefully, it is surprising they don't pull a Fred Flintstone and meet foot with the pavement, emptying the contents of their fuel tank in the process. I sometimes wonder how they might feel upon making road-pizza out of an ambling cyclist, but I've a strange suspicion they wouldn't give a toss.

I do realize that this analysis is rather anecdotal and unscientific, which resembles some rather voiciferous opposition to Healthcare Reform by some well-known hedge fund manager types upset with almost anything to do with Big G (admittedly not just in Healthcare)., despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary that (in healthcare) many foreign systems where The State has intervened, have witnessed tangibly superior outcomes in terms of coverage and service provision (though by no means perfect) for substantially smaller percentages of GDP. In my defense, I will (perhaps reluctantly and despite my good intentions) admit that I probably have harbored some a-priori negative feelings towards SUVs that have unscientifically impacted my otherwise unbiased opinions. It would be refreshing to see similar admissions from those opposed to healthcare reform on what most unbiased observers would see as almost wholly ideological grounds, unless the argument included an element of American Exceptionalism which at least admits that others nation-states with national risk pools, mandatory participation and single-payer insurers DO indeed achieve near-universal coverage with equal (or better) outcomes for at least several % less of GDP, but that for whatever reasons, Americans just cannot do Government...