BBC Interviewer: "Don't you think she's errrr rather inexperienced???"
Congresswoman Ford: "Well, no, I mean, she's a working mother with wonderful experience running a household..."
The VP debate with Biden will not be a pretty sight...
Mostly original content that examines financial surreality in equity markets in general, and the Japanese Stock Market in particular.
BBC Interviewer: "Don't you think she's errrr rather inexperienced???"
Congresswoman Ford: "Well, no, I mean, she's a working mother with wonderful experience running a household..."
An optimist can surely conjure many explanations [surely "lame excuses"?? -ed.] for how the United States BLS arrived at their upwardly revised 3.3% growth measurement for US GDP. Realists, such a Merrill Lynch Senior Economist David Rosenberg, have deconstructed the number and suggested one take it with a grain of proverbial salt. He sees the alledged upside surprise resulting from a concentrated revision in net exports, and despite a Q2 CPI running in excess of an annualized 5% and PPI close 10%, skeptically at the suggestion that non-financial corporate deflator deflated at an annual rate of 3.8%. Ummmm. Yeah. I must admit that without even reviewing the details, the numbers appear so far departed from any experienced reality as to raise my eyebrows and search for the real explanation, whereupon I discovered rumours of what actually might happened...- Deputy statistician's dog ate the BLS work-sheet
- Computer Error....(damned Dell boxes)
- BLS borrowed their deflator model from Moody's
- Karl Rove hacked into a BLS spreadsheet and "flipped the sign" on the deflator
- BLS spent so much time trying to massage the numbers they didn't have time to accurately calculate the numbers
- Made a paper plane out of the real number, but it got hijacked
- Left the real number at home, but it got repossessed
- Statistician was too busy thinking about whether or not he/she should quit this monkey house
- "Deflator"? Deflator?!? BLS statistician thought he was told to be a confabulator".
- BLS used the new invisible paper, and now they can't find it
- BLS has been using solar-powered calculators and it's been cloudy.
- Got mistaken for an Xmas wish list and sent to Santa Claus
- BLS has been using solar-powered calculators and it's been cloudy.
- Lent it to the Chinese so they can study our rigourous statistical methods to help them alter their own reality
"...with everyone forced to take the same trade, the volatility, intra-month, is so great, those investors committed to a month-to-month Sharpe-ratio low volatility strategy will be forced to redeem and you will get wild swings, illiquidity, and an inability to liquidate positions.
So I think we are going to have a serial catastrophe of hedge funds, particularly the kind of funds that thought that it was a great idea to buy loans at $0.90 on the dollar and won't be able to sell them at $0.80 later in the year.
Nearly anyone who should be interested in Japanese monetary policy stopped reading the BoJ's minutes a long long time ago. For life is fleeting as best stated by Confucious' wisdom pearl: "Even the Emperor cannot take back one single day". That said, out of some erstwhile macabre fascination, I opened the minutes from their latest meeting, and would urge those who cannot find anything better to do while collecting UVs on their beach-of-choice, to have a gander - both for entertainment and personal edification.ACME Systematic Leveraged Macro Momentum Fund LP
321 Overprice Street
Greenwich, CT
00573
Dear Investor,
This letter is to inform you that the wheels have come off of the proverbial wagon at ACME Systematic Leveraged Macro Momentum Fund LP, and that the same awesome thematic portfolio that made you feel (in the first half-year) as if you'd become very rich in comparison to those sucking wind on their leveraged MBS portfolios or Japanese Small-Cap Value Funds, has, quite literally, spontaneously combusted in our faces.
Our long-oil (PBR, SU, SWN), long coal (MEE, BTU), long fertilizer (POT, MOS), and long iron ore (CLF, RIO) positions have been crushed (no pun intended), and though we remain hopeful going forward as the story remains "in tact", our models have forced us to sell some in response to prevailing price action. Our offsetting shorts in selected financials (MS, BLK, GS, and LM) have not fared as we expected, while our core retail and consumer discretionary shorts in AZO & URBN, DECK have quite literally been lodged deeply and inexplicably in an unmentionable orifice.
If that were all we'd not be too sullen, all things considered, but unfortunately our short US dollar positions (vs. everything), our JPYNZD & CHFAUD carry trades have also not performed to forecasted expectations, and both our our long-only, and zero-exposure long vs. short commodity baskets have imploded with a rapidity that would even frighten Taleb to vows of silence. Oh, and if that weren't enough, our gold and silver longs, too, have gone south as if trying to re-embed themselves in the ground, whilst the short Russell-2000 ETFs we've been using as a hedge have been behaving all-too priapically. These losses of course are not as bad - relatively speaking - as some of our peers (who regretfully are no longer in business) and should of course be viewed in the proper context of our delft avoidance of long exposure in the worst of the RMBS and CMBS sectors, our eschewing of becoming a CDO issuer/manager, and our resolve to avoid anything denominated in Icelandic Kronor. Unfortunately we still have a large (leveraged) position in high-yielding cov-lite loans, US sub-prime credit-card-backed receivables for which we remain unable to obtain sensible bids at levels near to where our auditors and administrators agreed that we should pay our prior year's incentive fees. Only our long Japanese REIT portfolio and our unlisted fund of Spanish Olive Groves have held their ground, though regretfully we refrained from hedging the currency risk, and so these too, are now in the red and eroding rapidly.
We have no explanation, since our trades are systematically based upon doing what others are doing (only, hopefully, faster... though, in this instance, not fast enough). Nor do we offer you apologies. You [presumably] knew the risks, and felt the glory (if only for a while). We do lament the the now-sky-high high-water mark, and the absence of performance fees (this year).
Finally, saving the best for last, we will be suspending redemptions as per the Force Majeureclause 6(c)-2 of the Private Placement Information Memorandum of the Fund. We trust you'll agree that only something supernatural could have torpedoed such a finely constructed portfolio put together by the best and the brightest Wall St. has to offer.
Yours sincerely,
Hugh G. Fallis - Managing Partner
ACME Systematic Leveraged Macro Momentum Fund LP
10. Something went seriously wrong in the market that mid-March day in regards to HBOS share price moves.
9. Our research staff reconstructed the day's activity by looking at exchange time&sales, derivatives trades, emails, phone records, chat rooms, some internet porn (during our break) spoke with reporters, and consulted a psychic.
8. What we strikingly found out was that the stock price went down...a lot.
7. It was clearly the result of more sellers than buyers which made the HBOS price fall more than it would have if this hadn't been the case.
6. This was exacerbated by the fact the few people wanted to buy, and lots wanted to sell (or do nothing), following the manslaughter of Bear Stearns the week prior. In our view (as a non-regulator) this in entirely understandable.
5. Some of the selling was apparently caused by rumours of an unknown origin that were clearly malicious. If we ever catch them, we will hang them upside-down in the naughty-tree.
4. While in this instance, we didn't find any obviously guilty people as everyone had plausible excuses for their activity, nor did we find the so-called smoking gun, we did find a few computers that were culpable (the were Dell's apparently) as their algorithmic strategies sold when they saw others selling.
3. We DID confirm that when market participants are stressed and their nerves are frayed, rumours can have outsized impacts upon share prices.
2. Irrespective the outcome of this investigation, we will be watching you in the future. Watching is the operative word here, as it remains difficult to actually prove anything in such cases.
1. Most importantly, in order to deal with such situations in the future, we will be studying how to write better reports, and are resolved to improving our communication. This will give comfort to our constituency that they can safely remain here in London, and needn't move to Geneva.
On a day when oil prices plummeted, P&G announced better-than-expected results from passing on higher prices to consumers, and the Fed did nothing, the relief rally that ensued did NOT witness Exxon-Mobil (the he largest company by market cap) turnover the most in value, nor P&G, nor Walmart, despite the S&P 500 Consumer Discretionary Index jumping the most, perhaps in the calculation life of the index. It wasn 't even the shorts falling over themselves to cover their shorts in Citicorp. Rather, it was Potash Corp of Saskatchewan, that Canadian province that makes Indiana look hilly, turning over almost twice the value of the next highest by value. Of course the talking heads will (after-the-fact) point to nebulous investor fears that fertilizer prices have peaked. But this isn't the real story. Potash - The Shares - are but a dog chewy-toy.
in Asia will forever change the economics of energy-dependent agricultural inputs. Maybe as my friend Greg Newton at Naked Shorts suggests, the best cure for high prices is high prices. I actually haven't a clue. But I do know liquidation when I see it, and we ARE structural seeing a shake-out of the most egregious of the last 18-months of mimetically induced accumulations - irrespective of whatever the longer-term fundamental continuity of their underlying stories. Fat-tail indeed!!
IF one is the chief a monoline, bank or other financial holding company with large dubious asset-backed positions, it is understandable that during the denial phase of coming to terms with one's fate, that one would like to blame the nefarious Short Sellers. We'll ignore the asymmetry of absent blame on the way up for momentum traders, and concentrated hedge and mutual fund accumulations. Iron ore miner Fortescue Metals Group Ltd, headed by Mr Forrest, has being targeted by hedge funds resulting in a more than one third fall in the company's value over the past six weeks.No matter that FMG (seen in chart above) vaulted more than 115% from A$6 to A$13 in the current YTD, punctuated by an unusually firm End-of-Quarter-2 close, nor that it had increased more than 900% since Jan 1, 2007.
The activity has also cut Mr Forrest's paper fortune in Fortescue since hedge funds began targeting the stock when it was trading at a high of $13.15 a share on June 25.
"Those people who make a living out of short selling stocks ... are bordering on criminality," Mr Forrest told delegates on Monday at the Diggers and Dealers conference in Kalgoorlie, Western Australia.
"Those stock market players who have no interest in the company, who spread or propagate rumours that they haven't been bothered to check ... and then sell into the back of those rumours, I don't think they're doing anyone any good," Mr Forrest said.Mr Forrest, of course, is not in any way defending his personal real interest with his accusations. After all his mark-to-market wealth of Fortescue shares alone only declined a mere A$4 billion to A$8 billion. And while Mr Forrest's faux-concern for little Bruces & Sheilas across oz is heart-warming, by way of full disclosure, most of FMG stock is locked up between himself, Steinberg's Leucadia, Falcone's Harbinger, whom together control @63%. Perhaps, one of the other big-three is hedging out the enormous gains of the prior 18 months, particularly as bottom falls out from under US economic activity in general, and the commodity complex in particular.
"And of course, when we hear that we've got cracks in the bottom of our ore cars, or even a ship has sunk at the berth.
"We know those things are being put out to scare the mums and dads into selling their shares and of course the people who've shorted their shares then go and buy those shares off."
Mr Forrest also attacked investment banks who defended the practice.
"The investment banks who defend short selling are defending real personal interest," he said.
Anyone who's ever happened upon any episode of Antiques Roadshow is familiar with the increasing value of things vintage. Factory Farming and GMO crops that require pesticide and ever-more expensive nitrates could result in nice premiums to the colourful but gnarly-looking heirloom varieties (pictured left). And in the worst case, should things not work out as planned, they would make for delicious eating!
Garden sculpture too provides a fascinating utilitarian place to keep your money both safe and close by - especially if its a veritable work of the late Alexander Calder. Indeed, too big to steal, it simply sits, making itself wondrously beautiful to all who gaze upon it, and best of all, appreciates - even on weekends! Fortunately, such behemoths don't fit on Ken Griffin's roof terrace, so their values remain tame by comparison to smaller, more portable impressionist wall-hangings.
The Dutch have always been sober-minded despite their paradoxical tolerance of cannabis, evidenced here by their practical love-affair with the Windmill. Considering how long these beauties have been around, they must have ultra-long depreciation schedules that would warm the heart of even the most parsimonious purchasers.
War, depressions, floods have not deterred the thronging masses of football fans and the popular spirit of athletic competition. The problem is that professional sports has been gripped by a "Location Location Location"-like mantra that has lead well-heeled psychic-income-seeking egos to pay top-dollar (and pound!) for trophies that will likely hemorrhage cash when the going gets errr ummmm tough - at least until the proverbial screws are turned in earnest. Second-tier sports clubs (like Millwall for example, or even Hamilton Academical) share the same consumer non-durable demand characteristics for a fraction of the price of, say, Chelsky. And Millwall has the added benefit of providing Vinnie Jones-like muscle for less-than-salubrious "other pursuits" if things do, in fact, get even tougher-than-expected.
Little could be more basic than transport. So if oil has "peaked" and cold nuclear fusion, and the BTF Flux-Capacitor remain far-off pipe-dreams, what could be better than owning your own existing commuter rail service?!? Japan remains one of the few places where private rail service demonstrably works AND throws off reasonable cash-flow which after almost two decades of ratings compression are almost attractive. No NIMBY complaints as the lines are laid and more or less paid for. OK so Nagoya Rail's (pictured here) dated commuter cars need capex for sprucing up, but the earnings yields are reasonsably attractive (compared to JGBs) and there is reputed to be large under-valued land holdings still on the books if ever asset prices in Japan do revive.
One of the greatest stores of value, amusingly, has been paper. Not newsprint, or the ordinary kind, but the type bearing the likeness of the legendary Honus Wagner. The T207 has continued appreciate at quasi-exponential rates, long after my cousin paid for his Harvard education with the unlikely (at the time) and short-sighted (in retrospect) sale for a sum of five-digits. Compared to current values, he might as well have given it away...
Diamond-encrusted skulls, while not MY my metaphorical cup of tea, apparently are de rigeur in certain circles. I certainly am not qualified to pass judgment on this particular one's artistic merit. Nor do I wish (here) to sully those whose opinion of such a piece tends towards the favorable. So despite my inherent aesthetic and financial skepticism, I bring to your attention that it remains possible that - as with Faberge eggs - such curios might in fact turn out to be sound (and portable!) long term stores of value.
While Waterworld set Kevin Costner's career back a few notches, it did (years after, at least) provide some things to ruminate about (outside of what Zimbabwe might resemble were it ruled by a crazed Dennis Hopper instead of lunatic Robert Mugabe. But in a world of increasingly sought-after petrol and high energy costs, what could be more useful, apt, and elegantly graceful than a beautiful wooden sloop using nothing but the power of the wind for locomotion. As a boat owner, I do not dispute that the happiest days in boat owner's life are the day one buys it, and the day one sells it. Yet, I cannot help but dream that in such an environment a modest, but beautiful sailing vessel will become MORE cherished (and valued!!!) with time. Oh, and true to form, no kevlar - cloth sails only please!
Stands of timber are at once both majestic and economically useful. I've got some. Swenson's got some. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie just got some 500-odd ha with their Chateau in southern France. I still like RYN and PCL for their combination of still-cheap implied valuation, potential inflation hedge, and the fact that I salivate at the thought of how many large and small-denomination currency notes can be printed with the paper from a single hectare...
A Grove of Olive Trees is romantic. It is also beautiful. It's pure economic yield, while less-than-lotterific (unless depicted by van Gogh as the one here), hasn't prevented the earth on which they stand from appreciating, albeit in fits and starts, and certainly not without hiccups that often last as long as an entire generation. Of course, I am not qualified (as a northerner) to wax too lyrically about their bounty and positive externalities, something I will leave for Charles Butler's investment manifesto, in this most wise and overlooked of posts.
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